have you heard of cognitive dissonance?

Cognitive dissonance is a psychological phenomenon that occurs when a person holds two or more conflicting beliefs, attitudes, or values, and experiences mental discomfort or tension as a result.

In the context of alcohol, cognitive dissonance may arise when someone knows that alcohol consumption is harmful to their health or well-being, but continues to drink despite this knowledge. Yes, even one glass (stay with me).

To reduce the discomfort caused by the conflict between their behavior and beliefs, you rationalize the drinking by minimizing the risks or emphasizing the benefits, such as socializing or stress relief. This can lead to a cycle of denial and self-justification, making it harder to change drinking habits even if you want to. 

Even if it's "just one drink." Because it's not.

And your kids are watching. No judgement, just fact.

Discuss Alcohol With Your Tween or Avoid It?

Ugh, the hypocrisy of the conversation and actions around alcohol. The truth is that what we tell our kids about alcohol and what we do around alcohol are too often polar opposites. 

This is bad for you, as we sip our craft beer. 

Drinking and driving will kill someone. "Okay, I'll just have a bit more."

As I explored having more honest conversations with my daughter around the topics of alcohol and drinking, it quickly became obvious that the whole strict-parent do-as-say-not-as-I-do thing wouldn’t cut it. 

She could sense the appeal alcohol held for adults.

So I started pointing out the double standards of drinking — to myself! 

And then I started pointing them out to her. 

In passing, not in any big-talk kind of way, but just when it came up. My tween would giggle and, if she continued the conversation, off we went.

A Few Double Standards Of Drinking You Can Point Out To Your Child About Alcohol

• Driving past an all-day happy hour sign, I’d wonder aloud why they call it happy hour when alcohol is a depressant (yes, even just one).
• Seeing another parent drink too much, I'd mention it at home later. "Wow, Anna's dad drank too much tonight! It happens sometimes but it's weird, right?" (The relief that I noticed was obvious.)
• A mention that: Did you know alcohol is made from ethanol, which is what we fuel our cars with? I'm basically drinking gas when I drink wine (or any alcohol), which is really gross when you think about it. 

Baby Steps To Big Discussions

Laughing makes it so much easier to discuss alcohol with your tween. And pointing out the double standards around drinking alcohol allow us to more deeply explore our perceptions and beliefs around the culture of drinking.

This isn't just about them — it's about us, too.

8 Conversation Starters To discuss Alcohol With Your Child

Here are 9 double-standards you can point out as you start to discuss alcohol with your tween. Just casually mention it.

Driving by an ad with alcohol in it or walking past a restaurant advertising happy hour is always a great time to bring it up!

Why Do We drink it when it tastes bad? 

It's like voluntarily drinking the sweat of a gym sock. Alcohol actually tastes pretty awful. So much so we had to train our bodies to like it way back when we first started drinking. [Note: This where my tween gasped and exclaimed, "But you LOVE wine!" — ouch] But I had to teach myself to like it. No one puts this kind of effort into liking brussel sprouts. No one.

Why is alcohol EVERYWHERE?

It's like an all-knowing overlord that we pour out our problems to. If we're happy, we pour a drink. If we're sad, we pour a drink. If we're bored, we pour a drink. If we're overworked, we pour a drink. If we're upset, we pour a drink. Isn't that kind of weird? It's like alcohol is more important than the feelings sometimes.

We pay to poison ourselves?!

 When we drink alcohol, we knowingly ingest poison. AND PAY FOR THE PRIVILEGE. Think about that. We choose to put a toxin in our body, closely related to fuel, that causes cancer, and adults happily pay to do it. Imagine if I handed you a drink and told you it would make your brain work slower and your body feel awful. How mad would you be if I then asked for payment for it!? Sheesh.

Do WE Need Alcohol To Socialize?

Many people feel like they need a drink to loosen up and have fun in social situations. But is that really true? Are grown-ups unable to enjoy life without alcohol? It's like we need liquid courage to be ourselves, like we're some kind of social superheroes who can only fly when drunk. I wonder how people who don't drink feel about socializing?

Why Do we Glamorize Alcohol?

Why do we glamorize alcohol in media and pop culture? From TV shows to movies to music, alcohol is often portrayed as cool, sophisticated, and glamorous. But in reality, drinking too much can have serious consequences and is rarely all that it's cracked up to be. It's like when you're trying to look cool by leaning against a wall, but you accidentally knock over a vase and everyone stares at you.

Are We being judgy?

We often make assumptions about people based on how much or how little they drink. But someone's drinking habits do not define their character or worth as a person. It's like judging a book by its cover, or a cake by its icing. You might be surprised by what's inside, so while it's not our job to judge, hopefully we can take some inspiration from what we like and don't like about drinkers in our lives.

Does everyone drink?

 I always assumed that everyone around me drank alcohol like I did, which can create pressure to conform to social norms. However, not everyone drinks (63% of adults in the U.S.A. do, according to Gallup) and it's important to respect that. It's like when you're the only one in a group who doesn't know the latest dance move, but you try to fake it anyway and end up looking like a flamingo on roller skates.

What are we like when drinking? 

When you discuss alcohol with your tween, ask them what adults are like when they're drinking, even just at dinner. The response is almost always, "Boring!" or, "Loud. All you do is talk." We are not nearly as witty and entertaining as the other drinkers have led us to believe.

Do It! Discuss Alcohol With Your Tween

Talking to your tween about alcohol can be a difficult conversation, but using humor and pointing out the double standards around drinking can help make the conversation easier and more engaging. 

Because they've already noticed the double standards around drinking if you drink around them. 

But by exploring the deeper reasons why we drink and the ways in which alcohol is often normalized and glamorized in our society, we can encourage our tweens to think critically about their own choices and develop healthier attitudes towards alcohol. 

And remember, by promoting honesty and openness around the topic of alcohol, we can help our tweens make informed decisions that will benefit their health and well-being in the long run.

Whether or not they choose to drink one day.

The post Discuss Alcohol With Your Tween: 8 Easy Conversation Starters appeared first on Lies About Parenting.

Is It Time For a Toy Cleanse?

Are you tired of tripping over toys or having too many toys in your home that your child doesn't even play with? Then it's time for a toy cleanse.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of toys your child has accumulated, it may be time for a toy cleanse. This process can help simplify your child's toy collection, making it easier for them to engage in deeper play and reducing clutter in your home. In this article, we'll walk you through the steps to do a toy cleanse, using the Simplicity Parenting Toy List as a guide.

Simplifying your child's toy collection, bedroom, and/or playroom doesn't require squirreling away toys when your kids aren't watching or yelling and screaming that there's too much stuff. (I've done both!) 

Once I discovered Simplicity Parenting and the Simplicity Parenting Toy List, I learned to reap the benefits of the Waldorf educational model that encourages children to explore and engage in imaginative play.  

After years of simply moving clutter around, a this toy cleanse provided me with a variety of multi-use toys that sparked imagination, deeper play, and a happier, healthier home.

Bonus: There is no more screaming about the house being a pigsty. 

I wrote the original toy cleanse article over five years, when my daughter was almost five years sold. In 2023, it was time for an update, and so this article was born. 

The page is new in 2023, but the information is not. This post contains the information about the original toy cleanse, with before and after photos, as well as a 2023 (five years later!) update. Enjoy!

A Step-By-Step Toy Cleanse Guide

Step 1: Explain the Toy Cleanse to Your Child

Sit down with your child and explain that you want to simplify their toy collection so they can enjoy their toys more and move around their room more easily. Assure them that you're not getting rid of everything, but rather, you'll be creating a list of their favorite toys to keep. This conversation is important as it helps your child feel involved in the process and less anxious about the changes.

Step 2: Create a List of Your Child's

Favorite Toys

Have your child make a list of their favorite toys. Do this away from any visible toys to avoid any impulse additions to the list. If your child is hesitant to make a list, prompt them by asking what their favorite toys are. The goal here is to have a concise list of toys that your child loves and plays with often.

Step 3. Promote thoughtful additions

to the toy list

Prompt your child to include some toys you know they love that might not be top of mind. These could include toys like building blocks, stuffed animals, musical instruments, and more. It's essential to be mindful of not including toys that they rarely play with. Remember that the goal here is to simplify and streamline their toy collection.

Step 4: Create a Toy List

The Simplicity Parenting Toy List is a great resource to help you determine what toys to keep. This list includes high-quality, open-ended toys that encourage imaginative play and creativity. The list is designed to help reduce clutter in your home, promote deeper play, and foster stronger connections between family members. The list includes items like dolls, dress-up clothes, musical instruments, and art supplies, among others.

Let us send you a copy of

The Toy Cleanse Planner Worksheet

plus the occasional life-changing parenting tip or trick! 

Send It!

Your personal info is locked up tight with us. We hate spam as much as you. Unsubscribe via the email that arrives at any time.

Step 5: Sort, Remove, and Store Toys

Once you have your list of toys, it's time to sort through your child's toy collection. Use black trash bags to sort through toys and reduce the risk of your child asking for a toy that has already been set aside. Place the toys that you're keeping in a box or bin, and store them out of sight. Make sure to keep them accessible, so your child can access them easily whenever they want to play.

Step 6: Donate Unwanted Toys

Rather than throwing away unwanted toys, consider donating them to a local charity or shelter. This not only helps declutter your home but also provides toys for children who may not have access to them otherwise. Remember to only donate toys that are in good condition and can be enjoyed by others.

Afraid You'll Miss The Toys?

Pro Tip!

If you're worried about permanently parting with stuff during a toy cleanse, box them up in stackable, opaque (not see-through) containers and store them away. Then you have them if you need them! 

The process of doing a toy cleanse can be overwhelming, but the benefits are worth it.

By simplifying your child's toy collection, you create a calmer and more intentional living space for your family.

And involving your child in the process and explaining why you're doing it, you can help them adjust to the changes and feel empowered in the decision-making process.

If you follow the steps outlined above, and you'll be well on your way to a simpler, more intentional home.

Final Thoughts On A Toy Cleanse

Involving your child in the process of purging their toys can be beneficial. Sit down with your child and explain that you want them to enjoy their things and move in their room. Then ask them to help you make a list of their favorite toys.

Be sure to do this away from any visible toys, so they don't add unnecessary items to the list. And encourage them to choose high-quality, fun items that allow them to engage in imaginative play.

By cleansing your home of excess toys, you can create a more intentional life for your family, where your child can engage in deeper play for longer periods of time.

After doing this for years, I can promise you that a toy cleanse every now and then makes life easier, calmer, and much more enjoyable!

Remember to keep only high-quality, fun items that allow your child to explore and engage in imaginative play. The Simplicity Parenting Toy List is an excellent resource that can help you and your child simplify your playroom and your life.

Ready to Start The Toy Cleanse?

Now that you know what a toy cleanse is, it's time to get started! 

• Get a copy of our Toy Cleanse Planner below, which helps you stay inspired and stick to your toy cleanse goals. 
• Check out the Simplicity Parenting Toy List if you're ready to shop. 
• Leave a comment about your toy cleanse! We'd love to hear about your experience. 

Let us send you a copy of

The Toy Cleanse Planner Worksheet

plus the occasional life-changing parenting tip or trick! 

Send It!

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The post How to Do a Toy Cleanse: A Step-by-Step Guide to Simplifying Your Child’s Toy Collection appeared first on Lies About Parenting.

Favorite Tween Jewelry Style From "Adult" Brands

Okay, so my tween personally scrolled through these with me and selected her favorites, both for her and her friends. I quickly saw a trend of delicate styles with a modern twist being the favorite.

Oh, and we try hard to be inclusive at LiesAboutParenting.com. While we talk about girl style, we simply mean that: style. Every tween deserves to wear what makes he, she, or they feel best. This is an inclusive space and we want you to know you are welcome here just as you are. XOXO 

LAP worked with Responsival agency and was compensated to review some of the jewelry in this post, but opinions are 100% honest and our own (if we don't like the product, we don't publish!).

Birthstone studs or drop earrings

Whether you choose studs or drop earrings (we're a fan of drops), her birthday will never change and birthstone jewelry is a solid bet. Again, aim for simple and delicate. We found these on Etsy and we love these drop birthstone earrings by Alex and Ani

Alex and Ani Birthstones Drop Earrings

Buy Now Our Review

on Amazon (they're geared towards teens and tweens). But the ones we are eying for ourselves are over at Aurate. Either pair will on trend and oh so sweet. Also check out Maison Miru, who make flat-backed nap earrings that are amazing! 

Animal earrings

Sloths sleeping on huggie hoops? YES, please! We have heart emoji eyes over here. These little guys are sure to make your 10 year old smile. The finish and delicate nature give them a timeless (not little kid) style. They're affordable and on Amazon. Check them out here.

Sloth Huggie Hoop Earrings 925 Sterling Silver

$31.99 $29.99

Buy Now Our Review

03/20/2026 12:21 am GMT

Our Favorite Earrings:  Jewelry For 10 Year Old Girl

Celestial Style

Whether you splurge on 14k gold huggies or stick to the more affordable (but just as pretty) gold vermeil, gold earrings will always be a hit. Stick with ones that are on the delicate, lighter side. Our favorites (I just ordered one!) are the gold and diamond pave moon earrings. You can get away with buying a single if your tween has a second piercing in one ear. There are tons of affordable options if you filter for gold vermeil. 

Shop Aurate.com

Harry Potter Forever

This book is timeless, and so are these Alex + Ani Harry Potter gold earrings on Amazon. As an adult, I often pull out a pair of earrings that were given to me as a tween to wear. They get more special with age. A simple gold or silver pair will be around for years to come. 

Alex and Ani Harry Potter Glasses Earrings

$47.50 $40.00

Buy Now Our Review

03/20/2026 12:22 am GMT

Check Them Out On Amazon

birthstone studs

Whether you choose studs or drop earrings (we're a fan of drops), her birthday will never change and birthstone jewelry is a solid bet. Again, aim for simple and delicate. We found these on Etsy and we love these drop birthstone earrings by Alex and Ani on Amazon (they're geared towards teens and tweens). The ones at Aurate are cute, too. Either pair will on trend forever. Also check out Maison Miru, who make flat-backed nap earrings that are amazing! 

Shop Alex + Ani on Amazon

Animal Earrings

Sloths sleeping on huggie hoops? YES, please! We have heart emoji eyes over here. These little guys are sure to make your 10 year old smile. The finish and delicate nature give them a timeless (not little kid) style. They're affordable and on Amazon. Check them out here.

Check Them Out On Amazon

The post Jewelry for 10 Year Old Girl (Gift Ideas!) appeared first on Lies About Parenting.

Product Image	Product Name / Primary Rating / Price	Primary Button / Pros / Cons / Description
Best Full-Size	Nomadix Original Towel – Perfect for Beach, Pool, Travel, Camping, Yoga Primary Rating: 4.7 $39.95	Buy Now Pros: Quick drying Absorbs moisture Fun prints Cons: Some say they're a bit narrow Description: The Nomadix towels are our family's best towels for camping. Modern designs, nice weight but quick-dry, and they also make a smaller, super lightweight towels that has been perfect to stash in the car or use on the dog. Worth the investment!
Best Quick Dry	ECCOSOPHY Microfiber Beach Towel Primary Rating: 4.3 $35.24$27.59	Buy Now Pros: Super fast-drying Lightweight Quick-drying Cons: Wipes off moisture rather than absorbing it Description: The Eccosophy towels are actually two very lightweight layers of microfiber that are stitched together around the edge. It weighs almost nothing and has performed very well in all our testing. Personally, I prefer a bit more weight and the single layer of thicker microfiber that Tesalate and Nomadix offer, but my sister-in-law has taken this towel as her new favorite.
Best Lightweight	Nomadix Ultralight Towel: Melt Kingston Primary Rating: 4.4 $30.95	Buy Now Pros: Easily packable Lightweight Small is great for travel and on-the-go Cons: Less absorption than full-size version Description: Seriously, these Nomadix towels are the best. Simply hang them up, even covered in sand, and when dry, give it a good shake. EVERYTHING came off, every time. Which was necessary when camping with no washing machine for almost two weeks!
Kids & Pups!	ECCOSOPHY Kids Camping Towel & Pouch | Quick Dry & Sand Free Primary Rating: 4.1 $24.99	Get It Now Pros: Great size for kids, dogs, & travel 60"x30" Comes with storage pouch Super Quick-Dry Sand-free - just shake it out 10+ fun patterns to choose from Cons: None - we're impressed! Description: 60" x 30" with a storage pouch is perfect for kids and even the pups. 10+ cute patterns to choose from.

Best Full-Size

Nomadix Original Towel – Perfect for Beach, Pool, Travel, Camping, Yoga

Primary Rating:

4.7

$39.95

Buy Now

Pros:

• Quick drying
• Absorbs moisture
• Fun prints

Cons:

• Some say they're a bit narrow

Description:

The Nomadix towels are our family's best towels for camping. Modern designs, nice weight but quick-dry, and they also make a smaller, super lightweight towels that has been perfect to stash in the car or use on the dog. Worth the investment!

Best Quick Dry

ECCOSOPHY Microfiber Beach Towel

Primary Rating:

4.3

$35.24$27.59

Buy Now

Pros:

• Super fast-drying
• Lightweight
• Quick-drying

Cons:

• Wipes off moisture rather than absorbing it

Description:

The Eccosophy towels are actually two very lightweight layers of microfiber that are stitched together around the edge. It weighs almost nothing and has performed very well in all our testing. Personally, I prefer a bit more weight and the single layer of thicker microfiber that Tesalate and Nomadix offer, but my sister-in-law has taken this towel as her new favorite. 

Best Lightweight

Nomadix Ultralight Towel: Melt Kingston

Primary Rating:

4.4

$30.95

Buy Now

Pros:

• Easily packable
• Lightweight
• Small is great for travel and on-the-go

Cons:

• Less absorption than full-size version

Description:

Seriously, these Nomadix towels are the best. Simply hang them up, even covered in sand, and when dry, give it a good shake. EVERYTHING came off, every time. Which was necessary when camping with no washing machine for almost two weeks! 

Kids & Pups!

ECCOSOPHY Kids Camping Towel & Pouch | Quick Dry & Sand Free

Primary Rating:

4.1

$24.99

Get It Now

Pros:

• Great size for kids, dogs, & travel 60"x30"
• Comes with storage pouch
• Super Quick-Dry
• Sand-free - just shake it out
• 10+ fun patterns to choose from

Cons:

• None - we're impressed!

Description:

60" x 30" with a storage pouch is perfect for kids and even the pups. 10+ cute patterns to choose from.

03/04/2025 12:13 am GMT

Nomadix Original Towel

$27.13

Buy Now Our Review

03/20/2026 12:16 am GMT

Best Quick-Drying

ECCOSOPHY Camping Towel

$35.24 $27.59

Buy Now

03/04/2025 12:13 am GMT

Quality

So I'm picky about fabrics and this one just feels different. BUT that's because it is two very lightweight layers. If you like lighter clothes, this might be the one for you. The stitching and finishing is not super high-end, but we've been using it with no issues for months now. 

Softness

Eccosophy makes the softest towel of the bunch, no question. The type of fabric is more like shirting than car-towel chamois. Which is good if you're not getting soaking wet (lounging, not swimming). If you need towels to truly dry you off, go with one of the others. 

Ease of Use

This towel is super easy to stash in a bag and take with you. The two layers of fabric made me think it'll build up sand in between the layers, but so far that hasn't happened after being heavily used at the beach. It dries SUPER fast.  

Worth a mention: Tesalate Towels 

Tesalate sent me the towel for 2, which is a big square, and it is AWESOME. I use it as a sarong or spread it out by the lake and pool. It's heavier, but it's larger so, you know, science. This was such a close second to Nomadix but ultimately the size is just BIG. It's better for picnics and spreading out at the beach.

Get it on Tesalate's website.

The post Best Towels For Camping (Travel + Beach, Too!) appeared first on Lies About Parenting.

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How do you review a book you have no business reviewing? A Guide To Crushing Girlhood: Feminist AF, by Drs. Brittney Cooper, Chanel Craft Tanner, and Susanna Morris is one of a growing collection of girl empowerment books that offers raw honesty and complete support for Black teen girls and their allies. The inclusivity of this feminist book for teens makes it suitable for every teen (and body!) who is questioning societal norms and the patriarchy. 

But as a feminist — and BIPOC, trans, queer, disabled, and nonbinary ally — I jumped at the chance to check out this feminist book for teens. 

Teens, Am I Right?!

Initially, I planned to get a few teenage feminists to help me with some real-life feedback. It would be a breeze to post a review with their help. 

“This teen feminist think it’s great!” sounds a lot better than, “This old white mom thinks….”

But not one single teenager followed through on helping me out in time for the deadline. And why should they? Why should the cis white woman (aka me) get a free ride? Not because they weren’t interested in the book or subject, but simply because I timed it wrong – school started, COVID surged, life got crazy with the holidays. The usual.

Oh, and they’re not my kids — so I couldn’t make them.

Which had me reading this intersectional feminist book geared towards marginalized feminist teenagers and their allies cover to cover. And yes, I would have read it anyway, but now my words have more weight in this review. This is what I was trying to avoid —giving white words weight on a subject where we could benefit far more by sitting down and shutting up. 

But so much of the advice and insight in this book applies to me. Decades of being told to play nice, stay skinny, look like a model, do more, be more, give more. These tropes are as ingrained in my psyche as they are in capitalistic patriarchal communities worldwide. 

The bottom line is I love it and highly recommend it — both for yourself and your feminist or feminist-ally teen. Let’s just hope I don’t screw up explaining why. 

Hey! If any of the words you’ve read have you confused, we’ve all been there. Honestly, don’t worry. You’re here, exploring a subject you probably never expected to be learning about, and you’re doing your best to help a teenager you know. High-fives all around! The first step into anything new is always a bit scary. So just keep going and know you’re doing the right thing. You got this! 

If your teen:

• Rails against white guys (or guys in charge) but doesn’t seem to have the right words to explain why
• Believe in #BlackLivesMatter and is interested in social justice
• Is questioning the outsized role that men (mainly white) play in society

Then this book, A Guide To Crushing Girlhood: Feminist AF, is for them. 

While it’s definitely written for and to Black teen girls, this girls empowerment book openly welcomes everybody who supports feminism and gender/identity freedom. Trans, queer, nonbinary, BIPOC, white – this book care who you are as long as you support freedom and feminism. The authors are clear that white supremacy, colorism, and the capitalistic patriarchy are all repressive means of keeping women and marginalized societies and people from being equal.  

Suppose your teen needs a feminist teen book and understands that not everyone is treated equally. In that case, this book offers excellent insights, knowledge, and inspiration for walking a path towards body positivity and freedom. 

Sidebar! You might be wondering: Black is capitalized, white is not. Why? Read why the Associated Press updated its guidelines around capitalizing ethnicities. To sum it up, it’s because Black people have a shared history of discrimination AND culture, whereas white people, well, don’t. And capitalizing the W in white just screams White Supremacy (<— see what I did with that capitalization there? It matters.) Capitalize the ‘B,’ not the ‘w.’ Moving on.

Give Me More Details

A Guide To Crushing Girlhood: Feminist AF is a girls empowerment book, part of a growing collection of feminist books for teens that focuses on introducing profound concepts surrounding identity and feminism in a connective, we-got-your-back way. 

Drs. Cooper, Craft Tanner, and Morris wrote this book for “everybody feminist — trans girls, cis girls, girls with disabilities, BIPOC girls, queer girls, working girls, nonbinary folx, and our non-girl allies.” 

Translation: If you have a budding feminist — or teen questioning their gender and identity —this is a fantastic empowerment book to add to their collection. 

This is one book that doesn’t discriminate. The underlying theme is to get a crew together who will support you as you learn, grow, and question society and your role in it. 

One of my favorite lines in the book is, “Have you ever heard the ‘prayer’ Lord, give me the confidence of a mediocre white boy?” – page 30

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THAT?! It’s just so true. We breed boys as risk-takers and challengers while training girls to sit down and shut up. Anyone that has been to middle school knows that. 

A Guide To Crushing Girlhood: Feminist AF addresses common stereotypes and breaks down where they came from and why they need to change. It’s a breath of fresh air, delivered with snappy comments and tons of helpful links for body and identity positive influencers to follow, books to read, podcasts to listen to, and documentaries to watch. 

Let’s Talk Language & Triggers

This book is brutally honest but no more so than what’s likely going through your teen’s mind and social media feeds at this very moment. Hopefully, your teen already has a supportive crew, but if they’re struggling, this book will give them some hope. 

Support and good friends are out there, waiting to be discovered. 

Yes, there’s some language, but I’m betting your teen is well-versed in it already. But it’s not written for you, Mom/Dad/teacher, but for your teen struggling with identity, confidence, and essential topics. 

They cheer, swear, cry, educate, inspire, and promote feminists and their allies, all the while keeping it real and not wasting any time. 

Exploring girlhood and body image stereotypes and how these are fundamental ways to keep women and marginalized identities from taking more power make this a powerful introduction to intersectional feminism. 

Also, the authors do a great job of warning readers of potential triggers, offering enough detail to know if you need to skip ahead or keep reading. 

The Takeaway

It’s a win. Buy it. A Guide To Crushing Girlhood: Feminist AF is meant for anyone who has looked at the people “in charge” and thought, get the hell out of here— you don’t look, feel, or act anything like me. 

This book is for anyone who rolls their eyes when the white guy in the room “decides” something needs to be done a certain way and gets his way. Every time. 

It’s for everyone who agrees or is catching on to the fact that the capitalistic patriarchy (basically white men running everything) is meant to keep rich white guys in charge.

Let me be clear: This book is not about how much your white dad/teacher/boss/brother/classmate sucks, but instead how your teen can recognize, and do their part to change, an unjust system.

Whew, that’s a lot to unpack. 

The book gives the reader the phrases, definitions, support, and ideas for challenging traditional roles and biases in society. It offers teenagers the inspiration and tools to move confidently in a direction that meets their —perhaps unspoken—needs. 

A great example is when they discuss the nursery rhyme about girls being sugar, spice, and everything excellent. If a girl is deemed too bossy, she’s a bitch. If a boy is dictatorial, he’s usually “commanding” or “a natural-born leader.”

If your teen is a feminist or an ally questioning their own power, identity, place in the world, and/or the political and social structures around them. In that case, this is a great book to get them. 

A Feminist Book For Teens and Every Ally

There’s a saying that feels like it’s been around forever. Maybe you’ve heard it:

Those who can’t do, teach. 

Cooper, Craft Tanner, and Morris prove this trope is, beyond any doubt, a load of bull.

These women do it all – innovate, create, teach, and lead. And you can’t ask for a better teacher than someone who has not only the real-life experience but leads with the confidence and the hipness of your friend’s cool aunt.  

Where To Get It

Bookshop.org

We support small business and trying to move away from Amazon. If you don’t NEED it tomorrow and can wait a few days, 100% of profits from your purchase through Bookshop will benefit a local bookstore. 

Amazon.com

And if you do need it ASAP, here’s the Amazon link. 

Related Posts

The post A GREAT Feminist Book For Teens appeared first on Lies About Parenting.

Books On Death For Preschoolers Are Hard To Find

So we set out to find some of the best books on death for preschoolers.

Maybe it's because Death is a tough subject, and one we too often want to avoid. Saying, "We go to Heaven", is a lot easier than trying to explain something we might not fully understand ourselves.

And it's sad. Even if the person or creature lived a full lifetime, or your child is just naturally curious about death, dying is a sad, difficult subject to discuss.

The last thing we want to do as a parent is to make our kids sad, or worse, traumatize them with the wrong words.

But when your preschooler starts insisting on answers to questions like the following, it's time to offer them some age-appropriate information and discussion.

Below you'll find our favorite books on death for preschoolers. We've worked hard to find the most helpful and well-written books, but our Winner is the one we recommend you purchase first.

WINNER: Books On Death For Preschoolers

Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way To Explain Death To Children by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen is the one we know and love the most. In the meantime, keep reading to understand what your preschooler needs from you when talking about death and dying.

Death is not the happiest subject, but great books on death for preschoolers set the groundwork for answering questions in an age-appropriate manner.

Runner-Ups: Books On Death For Preschoolers

These other books come highly recommended and are very well-rated.

Start with The Invisible String if you're not ready to talk about lifetimes (remembering that if your child is asking, they are ready). The book introduces children to the idea that a mother and child can be connected, even when they're apart.

I ordered the book and waited. When it arrived, I read through it before my daughter could see it.

It's a good idea to this with any book, but especially ones with heavy topics like grief. 

Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children

$16.00 $9.39

Buy Now Our Review

03/20/2026 12:20 am GMT

The Invisible String

$9.99 $6.99

Buy Now Our Review

03/20/2026 12:21 am GMT

The Memory Box: A Book About Grief

$16.99 $10.37

Buy Now Our Review

03/20/2026 12:21 am GMT

God Gave Us Heaven

$11.99 $6.49

Buy Now Our Review

03/20/2026 12:21 am GMT

Get The Book

Get it on Amazon now. 

The post Best Books On Death For Preschoolers appeared first on Lies About Parenting.

But what do these ideals actually mean in real life? What do they look like in actual practice? And how should they inform your parenting?

Why Does Diversity and Inclusion Matter?

The simple fact is that diversity and inclusion aren’t just matters for adults. You don’t just grow up and realize one day that you need to become more culturally aware. Studies increasingly show that true inclusivity and real cultural sensitivity begin in childhood. 

The science suggests, for example, that children begin to notice racial and ethnic differences far earlier than many parents realize. Even more significant, they notice how you respond to those differences and they take their cues from that. After all, you are their first and best role model. You are the one to introduce them to the world. 

So if you are hesitant or uncomfortable in talking about race or exploring cultural differences, your child is likely to pick up on that. In turn, they’re more likely to internalize the same feelings. Above all, you don’t want to unintentionally teach your children to be embarrassed by—or worse, to fear—those who look, sound, or behave differently than they do.

Where to Begin

Because children begin to be aware of racial and cultural differences so young, it’s imperative to open up a dialogue early. And it doesn’t have to be heavy. In fact, it can and should be honest and age-appropriate. For example, you might begin with your toddler by introducing books that feature characters of different races and ethnicities. Or you might incorporate new foods or new holidays and festivals into your family life. Doing so can serve as a fun learning opportunity, similarly to the joy you feel in learning about your own family’s native traditions. 

As your little one moves from toddlerhood to childhood, then you can begin broaching more difficult topics with more context and nuance. It’s important that every child be introduced to the concept of civil rights, and how those contexts are still relevant today. These can be discussed in age appropriate ways throughout their childhood.

It’s also important to reach out to your school-aged children’s teachers to learn more about how diversity is being addressed in the classroom. You might offer your support for teachers who are working to integrate diversity into their curricula in a variety of ways. For example, you might reach out to your school board to discuss how diversity is addressed in their lessons. Or you might offer your assistance to teachers as they plan projects to celebrate important cultural events, like Black History Month or Chinese New Year.

An Expanding Perspective

As children learn about different races and cultures, it is also imperative that they begin to appreciate diverse standards of beauty. Fortunately, this is easier today than it has been in decades past. The beauty industry, once notorious for its singular and devastatingly unattainable standard of beauty, has now begun to celebrate a much broader and more inclusive concept of the beautiful, one that rejects the “standard” entirely.

Saturating your child with images and media that celebrates rather than denigrates. Exposing them to this kind of media from an early age ensures they will more easily grasp that differences aren’t bad. In fact, these differences can be admired and celebrated. After all, true inclusivity means understanding that there are many ways of being in and moving through this world. All of those differences are valuable, important, and lovable.  

The Takeaway

Issues of race, diversity, and inclusivity have received a lot of attention in recent years. Unfortunately, they have all too often been associated with the pain of social injustice than with the power of true social equality. And that may make you reluctant to open up these topics to your children. The reality, though, is that your kids are likely already noticing racial and ethnic differences. And that means that it’s not just important but necessary to begin teaching them early on not to fear or be embarrassed about difference, but instead to embrace, explore, understand and celebrate those differences.

The post Teaching Your Children About Cultural Awareness, Diversity, and Inclusion appeared first on Lies About Parenting.

What Is A Birdnesting Custody Agreement?

The idea of birdnesting after divorce is fairly simple — the children get to stay in the familial home, while the parents take turns coming and going. Whatever custody arrangement you worked out on your own or in the courtroom can still be enforced, but instead of the children having to go from house to house, it’s the parents that leave when it isn’t their time. 

This is typically done by the parents co-renting an apartment, but only one person staying there at a time. They rotate between the apartment and the family home so the children can stay in one place and not have their lives uprooted. It may not be a permanent solution, but it’s often used as a short-term way to transition children from what they are familiar with to a new way of living with one parent at a time.

The biggest birdnesting perks are also the most practical ones, including: 

• The children can stay in the same school district

• Their social lives aren’t as drastically affected

• They can keep family memories in one place

• It gives them a sense of familiar comfort in a time of uncertainty

Birdnesting custody agreements are a great way to not only keep your kids comfortable during the transition, but show them that you and your former spouse can get along and co-parent respectfully.

When you respect your ex, you’re showing your kids how important it is to respect others, too. But every family is different - physical safety and mental health boundaries always come first!

Moving Forward

Ultimately, if you’re not sure whether a birdnesting divorce custody agreement is right for your situation, talk to your kids about it. See how they feel about the idea of that particular arrangement. 

Encourage them to talk to a therapist or school counselor to better process their feelings and express them more thoroughly. Your children may be more willing to open up to a neutral third-party, rather than talking to you or your ex about their living situation preferences.

While birdnesting isn’t right for everyone, if you do get along with your former spouse and you both believe keeping your kids in their “home base” is best, it can be an effective solution, at least in the short-term, to make things more comfortable for everyone.

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The post Building Stability for Kids After Divorce: Does The Birdnesting Custody Agreement Work? appeared first on Lies About Parenting.

My Job Is About Respecting Boundaries And Consent

There comes a moment during small talk with someone new in when they ask what I do for a living.

I have to immediately size this person up to see how deep they want to go. 

Will I give the easy “stay-at-home-mom” response that leads to more chit-chat about my children? Or do I dive in, head first, and say what I really do – but risk a totally awkward and abrupt end to the conversation? 

“I write books on consent for children.”

The sentence is rather mild but for many, consent and sexuality go hand in hand. This means I just mentioned SEX and KIDS during our polite small talk. Oh, the horror!  

What I really do is write books on respecting boundaries but that always leads us back to “consent.”  Hear me out:

The Definition of “Consent”:

Consent is a person’s voluntary agreement for some action to occur.

But we have made the word “consent” mean nothing more than an agreement to have sex. And we have cross-linked the word “consent” to sexual acts that have occurred without permission. And this is all about a breakdown in respecting boundaries another person sets. 

Consent = Respecting Boundaries

Consent is much more than one’s decision to have sex. It is the knowledge that we are important and that our feelings matter. It is the understanding and awareness of respecting boundaries another person sets.

Now, who could argue with these types of books for children? (You’d be surprised.)

So What Is Consent (and Respecting Boundaries)?

1. Consent Is Setting And Respecting Boundaries

Respecting boundaries and consent happen on a physical and emotional level.

Consent is setting and respecting boundaries, for yourself and others.  

Consent, for children, is easily modeled with the example that a child is allowed to refuse a hug from someone. This action that may have previously seemed rude or disrespectful is now understood by most parents to be a healthy expression of a child’s needs. 

But consent also includes teaching your child that he is allowed to speak up when he is uncomfortable with how he is being treated. 

It’s Physical AND Emotional

Developing and respecting boundaries extend to more than a person’s body and empowering your children to voice their opinions on physical and emotional boundaries, we are raising children to know they are important. 

Note: These are ideas that will carry over as your child matures and searches for positive friendships and healthy romantic relationships. BIG STUFF!

2. Consent Is Inviting Your Child To Speak Up

Each conversation regarding boundaries is an invitation for your son or daughter to open up about a situation in which he or she was uncomfortable. Boundaries are fluid and ever-changing as your child matures and decides how he wants to be treated.

With young children, we can model respectful boundary-setting as we request our own privacy when using the bathroom or changing clothes. As children mature, we establish an expectation of respect with simple actions such as knocking before entering their room. Each interaction that involves respect is modeling behavior that we want our children to expect from others. 

What Happens If You Don’t Respect Boundaries?

When you don’t respect their consent,  your child is left feeling disrespected.

They need to know that they can come to you. Initiating conversations about boundaries with your children opens the door for them to speak up about an event they may be keeping inside due to the shame and fear they are feeling. 

Tip: Read this great article on why kids don’t tell. 

3. Consent Is Teaching YOUR Child To Take “No” For An Answer

In a society where winning is everything and determination is revered, respectful boundary-setting and consent is teaching our children that people around us have different boundaries and it’s okay for them to set those boundaries. 

As parents, we teach our children how to say “no” but how often are we talking to them about how to respect the “no’s” we receive? 

The Half Of The Conversations We Ignore

Understanding the boundaries of others is half the battle when it comes to consent. And frankly, it’s the half of the conversation that usually gets ignored. 

Food For Thought: Are we talking to children about how to truly respect others… or are we just teaching them how to avoid dangerous situations?

Consent Is About More Than Sex – It’s Respecting Boundaries

Consent is much more than a conversation about sex. It is teaching children that everyone has the right to their own boundaries and what they can do if those boundaries are disrespected.

To learn more about teaching boundaries to children, Child Mind has a great article here.  

Let’s Recap

You can duplicate this section and use it in multiple places on your sales page.

• Consent is about respecting boundaries, emotionally and physically. As in a child doesn’t have to hug if they don’t want to.
• Consent encourages respecting boundaries by defining them. Private bathroom time and knocking before entering are two ways we can model good behavior.
• Consent is learning how to take “no” and not just give it. If we want our boundaries to be respected, we need to respect others. And that starts with accepting a “no”, no questions asked. 

I could say that I write books on respecting boundaries and not ruin the friendly banter at a six-year-old’s birthday party. 

But that’s not what I’m really doing. What I’m really doing is teaching kids how to be good humans. I’ll take the awkward small talk to make that happen. 

Get More Consent

If you want to continue the conversation about respecting boundaries and consent, check out Lauren’s books on Amazon.

A Parent’s Guide To Consent

This book is intended to separate the topics of consent and sexual activity, in order to make consent a topic that can be learned at any age. The lessons in this book will help guide conversations to ensure that you are able to inform and/or support your child if their boundaries are disrespected. Get it on Amazon.

Before Sexuality Is A Topic

My Body is My Own will open young minds to the idea of boundaries and consent long before sexuality is a topic. This picture book is perfect for talking about respectful boundaries, their own and others. Get it on Amazon. 

The post 3 Keys To Teaching Consent And Respecting Boundaries appeared first on Lies About Parenting.